Everyone who knows me knows I LOVE my husband. He is my best friend. My soulmate. My favorite person on the planet. My safe place. [Second to God, of course]. Without God there would be no “us”. With that being said, I don’t believe in fairy tales.
This August we’ll be celebrating 15 years of marriage. 17 years together, which means we’ve been dating exactly half of my life [the importance of dating your spouse is another blog post!]. And while we have certainly had a blast, it’s not always been easy.
We married at the age of 18. We were babies expecting a baby and we had a lot to learn about being a family of our own.
By the grace of God we survived some pretty heavy party years. Thankfully I never died of alcohol poisoning [there were definitely times I woke up with puke in my hair and hoped it was mine…I don’t miss those days!]. Thankfully we had plenty of friends ready to take pictures of us at our worst so I can be reminded of how attractive I looked after 10 shots of vodka…
We have three very different baby boys [they will always be my babies, even if one is 14.] and haven’t always agreed on parenting techniques. Although we discuss those differences in private so the boys know we are a team.
Lastly, we don’t live your normal 9-5 lifestyle. [If you don’t know us] My husband Deon drives a truck and has a crazy, wonky, weird, and wacky work schedule. I’ve been told by other wives there is no way they would “stick around” if it were their husbands.
Let me tell you why I “stick around” and why I don’t believe in fairy tales. Marriage takes WORK [Who really likes to work?].
I don’t always feel loved nor do I always feel like giving love. Feelings can be deceiving. Over the years I’ve learned that often times when I’m feeling un-loved it’s because I am having a bad day or I am hormonal [curse you hormones], NOT because of something my husband has done or didn’t do!
We communicate and respect each other. As with all couples, we don’t always agree. We will talk something in circles until we are dizzy and it’s 4 A.M. before we let an issue fester. Deon made it clear from the beginning that we are not walking out every time we get frustrated. We never have.
We carry the weight when the other one is tired. Sometimes life is hard. Sometimes we feel like we don’t have the energy to finish the day. That’s when the other one steps in and gives you just the right amount of encouragement to remember who you are. Or just makes you laugh!! Laughter seriously is the best medicine.
We dream together. We are not the same people we were 17 years ago and our dreams are not the same, but that hasn’t stopped us from setting new goals for our future.
And while we are not living the fairy tale life…it is our beautiful story of work and dedication to each other. Until ‘The End’.